Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Dushman Na Kare Baap Ne Jo Kaam (Pakhspat) Kiya Hai Even an enemy will not do what a father has done


Dushman Na Kare Baap Ne Jo Kaam (Pakhspat) Kiya Hai
Even an enemy will not do what a father has done

This is my sad story of my life. I was born in a lower middle class family. I was the youngest son in the family. There was one elder brother (nearly 8 years elder) and one Elder Sister (nearly 2 years elder) of me.
During my childhood I always had to suffer and should always be forced to agree on almost any issue. I had always has to accept old and reused items of my brother and sister. I had been given only few new items occasionally. I have few toys and most of them are used ones. Few story books, few clothes etc. Only one thing which appears nice is that I got admission in English medium school whereas my siblings were not lucky enough in this case. But my bad luck is that the school is up to 8th class only. After that I was admitted in hindi medium school like my siblings. I was also beaten many times by my father and brother. Once there was a dispute between me and my sister in my childhood. My sister complained my brother and my brother beat me with cricket bat and belt that time. My sister always used to complain of me. She was really very shrewd from the very beginning. Once I was playing in public garden with water near our house. My sister complained about it and I was scolded very badly by my father. He even forced me to undress my clothes as punishment.
Whenever there was a fight between me and my sister, I had to suffer from all sides. she beat me , pinch me on my face with her nails and in the end I got scolded because my communication skills were not as good as my sister and my sister was too smart and manipulated to blame me for all that.
As time passed, my brother got in to depression when I was in 6th or 7th standard. In those days I too had to suffer as my lot of time would go waste at doctor’s clinic. And worst of all is that now my mother and father started to expect a lot from me. This has given a negative impact on me and I crumbled down under great expectations. At the same time, my father used to waste my time a lot on trifle issues. He forced me to go to village, marriage parties, etc while I don’t want at that time due to my studies.
As time passed my father established a small business with a partner. He has a son. My father made my brother partner also as now he was all right. Now there were four partners i.e., my father, my elder brother, my father’s friend and his son. I was not made partner at that time. I had passed b.com and pursuing c.a. course that time. Subsequently I passed B.com, llb, c.a. inter and mba finance. While I was doing graduation my father forced me to attend office for no apparent reason and wasted my time there also.
My mother always used to say that my father does not like to see their sons making progress. I also feel the same. I also feel that my father is very egotist and manipulated. My father did not take care of the family well. We always live from hand to mouth. My father was always busy with his works. She also blamed my father for the illness of my brother. My father did not take care of my mother and used to scold and beat her.
My mother fell ill. She had 3-4 operations. Once she slipped and her leg was broken but my father did not care for it till months. She had a cesarean operation also and an appendix operation afterwards. During that time during blood transfusion she got infected with hepatitis c but it was discovered much later in advanced stage.
My elder brother could not get higher education and now was totally dependent on our father and that’s what our father wants but my sister passed the mbbs.
When I was doing ca and my sister mbbs, my mother was diagnosed with hepatitis c of advanced stage. She was admitted in the hospital in delhi and I, my sister and my father take care of her. I also give blood to her 2-3 times. After some time my sister went to her hostel for her study and only we were left. We spent many nights in hospital again and again. My studies suffered a lot during that time and I could not pass the ca final exams. I was in a lot of tension because I loved my mother most.
My sister got married with a doctor. My father spent a lot of money on her marriage even her honeymoon expenses were borne by my father. At that time whenever she visits home her full expenditure was met by my father even her travelling expenses to and fro. At many time there was loss in cancellation of tickets because they always used to change their schedules.
After 2-3 years of survival, my mother died and I was in great pain. It took me 2-3 years approximately to recover from this when I got married later. My brother got married earlier when I was in 9th standard. I was very sad because I want my mother to see my wife and my children and a settled career.
After some time my sister and her husband went to Australia for further studies. My father arranged the finance by guarantee a loan from bank by mortgaging a piece of land. In Australia, they don’t get success and my father kept helping them by sending money and other things to Australia. My sister gave birth to a child in Australia. After some years they returned to India and my father has to pay the loan with interest by selling the land. My sister husband got a job in private hospital and my father continued helping them by sending money and other things to them by courier.
On the other hand my father gave assistance of everything to my brother and started a new business of dealership for my elder brother. But it could not get success due to his inability and laziness. After that my father opened a shop for him but it also turned out to be a flop show due to his inability and laziness. A lot of money got wasted on all this. At that time my brother was also a partner in my father business but he had not made me his partner. After this my brother joined our father business. Now he attends the office very unprofessionally. He frequently takes holidays. He never reaches the office in time. He goes to office at 12’o clock in afternoon and returns at 2’o clock for lunch. Then he goes at 4’o clock and return at 8’o clock. It is worth noting that the time taken to go to office would be 20-30 minutes approximately. In this time too he has not any major responsibility and most of the time he sits there idle with no work. for this he gets 10,000- 15,000 rs p.m. and above this some of his expenses are met by our father like bike petrol, bike service, children school fees, doctors fees, medicines etc. beside his wife is given 20,000 – 25,000 rs. p.m. for common household expenses. She spends some money out of this for his own personal stuff and saves rest of for his own use. On the other hand my father did not give me anything.
Meanwhile, my sister husband died due to infection while treating a patient. My sister did not stay with her mother-in-law and returned to our house with her child. My father got his admission in a good school and also help her to get a good job by spending a lot of money. Now in spite of getting a nice salary she rarely borne her expenses. Most of her expenses are also met out by our father like her child school fees, van fees, books, personal stuff, etc whereas he does not give me a single penny.
Now coming to me, I was also married and had child. I used to go office of my father but I was neither an employee nor partner. My father gave me 5,000 rs p.m. out of his own pocket only and that was all I used to get. I was told to learn about business and do some trifle jobs which were of less importance. I was not satisfied with my situation and position.
My father always wanted to make me a slave of him. He only wanted me to behave like a bottle’s djinn to carry out his commands and wishes only. He wanted me to open and close the office like a guard only with no authority.
One day I have a dispute with my sister and my father stopped given me my salary of rs. 5,000 p.m. I tolerate everything to maintain my self respect. In spite of 5 years gap in my career I managed to get a private job at rs. 10,000 p.m. at the age of 30 years approximately. During the job I completed my mba in finance to get a better job. My father started ill treating me, my family and even my children.
On another occasion, the work of cooking was divided between my wife and my brother’s wife on the instruction of my father. He divided the work but he did not divide the income. During my wife’s pregnancy also she did all the work. After the birth of child also she continued to do the work and nobody help her in spite of she helped my brother’s wife a lot during her pregnancy and I also gave blood to my brother’s wife.
I kept on struggling and passed the bank po exam but in vain. I applied for government job and got selected for training for the job. So I had to leave my private job. During this my father did no even said a single word relating to help to me when in need. Now I was jobless with no income.
One day I had a dispute with my brother’s wife on household expenses. As I told earlier my father used to give her 20,000- 25,000 rs. p.m. for household expenses and My family list only few item costing around rs. 400 to rs 500 p.m. but my brother’s wife did not buy our items. Instead she used to spend some money on her own personal stuff and save some money for herself out of this. My father did not support me in this case also and instruct negatively to stop all our necessary items costing only 400-500 rs. p. m.
I asked my father for training fees but he refused to give me any money. I some how arranged for it. I also asked him for some money to start my business but he again refused to help me.
One day my father fell sick and was diagnosed stone in stomach. He was operated and I helped him in hospital physically as I can. But he was very arrogant.
After some time my father was diagnosed with a cancerous tumor in stomach. At that time my father reverted back and stated to talk with me politely so that I can help him in the hospital. The doctor had told that there will be operation and 2-3 bottles of blood might be required. So my father started to talk with me very politely and asked me to forget about every thing in the past. He even told me to make me partner in his business from April.
He was admitted in delhi for operation. I again helped him in his situation physically. I have to remain in the hospital for 13-14 days. When he got discharged I had to go with him for subsequent visits to delhi. For some time he made me his driver. But after he was all right he again betrayed me. Now I was again struggling to maintain my family.
This is only a sample of what I have suffered. It appears that there is a reservation policy in the house for daughter and dependent daughter in law and nothing for me and my family. There are innumerous instances of my father injustice and bias full attitude towards me. I pray that even an enemy should not get this type of father other wise his future will be destroyed.

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